I Never Made The Falklands

or Some Not so Exciting Stories From 32 Years Ago

Paul Atkinson (Medical Assistant)

I sailed on MV Astronomer and got into the exclusion zone a day after the ceasefire!! Spent the next 4 months floating around the Falklands and spent my 21st birthday throwing up (due to seasickness) somewhere off South Georgia.

Ken Dunn and I fitted out a sick bay on Atlantic conveyor and when it came to sail they only wanted one medic. Me n ken tossed a coin and he won the toss and sailed on her!!

Dave Tipple (Leading Seaman)

As was I on Revenge in refit with you, but we did get to paint a Hull trawler that had been TUFT*. Everybody was ready to go. When SP Anderson told Elvis Costello that he could not go, he was going to stow away on the trawler.

Andy Mullins (Medical Assistant)

We had a Clear Lower Deck for single men, they wanted volunteers to go down south, I volunteered and bugger all came of it, They "said" they wanted 5 fairly senior MA's to stay and train RNR MA's..........I ended up in Mercury Sickbay!

Dathan 'Spike' Hughes (Weapons Electrical Mechanic)

I joined the Invincible with a survivor of HMS Sheffield, at Ascension Islands by helo, on the way back. I stood procedure Alpha (Gosport side of course) into Pompey. Does that make it into the 'I never made it' dit book? I went there 10 years later with Derek Golding. Not sure which was the most dangerous time...

Pete Chilcott (Leading Medical Assistant)

32 years ago, just after South Georgia and the Falklands had been taken, it was clear that ships were coming out of reserve or TUFT* and that there would be need for medics. Paul Stock and I were stood by HMS REVENGE in refit. Feeling that this is what we had trained for, we would volunteer to go South and play our part. We walked over to the Jimmy and explained our wishes. 'The deterrent comes first' was his response. Back we walked and that was the end of our Falklands.

*Taken Up From Trade

That's Not A Bad Christmas THIS Is A Bad Christmas

This year's Christmas won't be as extravagant as other years because of the lack of work. However, compared to the people in Cornwall and Stonehaven who've been flooded out of their homes, the friend of my wife whose father died 2 days ago and the old Naval friend who is going into hospital on Christmas Eve for an orchidectomy, and faces the prospect of chemotherapy, I would say it's going to be a pretty stonking time. And some people have a cold and bitch about it on Facebook.

Pass me another mince pie and a sherry. matron.

Peter's Immutable Law of Ironing

The crease that is accidentally made when ironing is a million times harder to smooth out than the ones created during the laundry process.

Proper 'New Navy'

'...but fondness for the ancient order of things is still a feature of this Navy of ours.  There was never a ship like our last ship: no commission like the one before this one.  Gipses all: yet we would fain linger a little by the ashes of our camp-fire while the caravans move on.

The most indifferent observer of naval affairs during the last decade will admit that it has been one of immense transition. Changes, more momentous even than this business of the (...), have followed in the wake  of a great wave of progress. "Up and onward" is the accepted order, but at the bottom of the Sailor-man's conservative heart  certain reluctance still remains.'

I suspect that this is an accurate observation, not only of the Royal Naval Sailor-man, but of Sailor-men across the world. When reading different fora across the web, we'll all have seen matelots complaining about changes or how things were much better x number of years ago.  Indeed, our first ship was probably the best one, but certainly any ship was better than the current one. I'm guessing that this principle  extends much further than the world's navies

The interesting thing about this little extract is that it was written in 1916 in the preface to a book called 'Naval Occasions' written by the pseudonymous Bartimeus. The missing word above is marmalade and the Preface opens thus:

'I reckon that's proper 'New Navy,'" said the coxswain of a duty cutter to the midshipman perched on the "dickey" seat beside him in the stern.

It was 6 A.M.: the boat was returning from the early morning beef trip, and the midshipman in charge of her had seen fit to discuss with his coxswain the subject which at most hours, and particularly at this one, lay nearest to his heart--the subject of Food.

"Proper 'New Navy.'" repeated the petty officer with contempt. He referred to the recent introduction of marmalade into his scale of rations.  He spoke bitterly, yet his quarrel was not with the marmalade  which, in its way, was all that marmalade should have been.  His regret was for the "dear dead days" before marmalade was thought of on the Lower-deck.

That was ten years ago, but fondness...etc'
I think it's safe to conclude that nothing changes and that Jack is never happy unless he's dripping

The Diving Museum

The Diving Museum

Further to my previous blog about how how frustrating Gosport can be because of all it's hidden gems, I want to mention The Diving Museum.

This small and highly specialised museum is hidden in away in No 2 Battery at the eastern end of Stokes Bay. The Battery was part of the ring of defences around Portsmouth Harbour, which included the Palmerston Follies. The museum was opened earlier this year by The Historical Diving Society and it's manned by volunteers from that society.

We paid our 2 quid entry fee  and were pounced upon by one of the volunteers, an ex Royal Navy diver, who offered to show us around and explain the exhibits. And this he did with obvious relish and certainly a deep knowledge of his subject. The museum has exhibits from the early days of commercial diving in the 19th century right up to modern sports diving (using equipment supplied by BSAC) and saturation diving. There's a good balance between civillian and military diving and between commercial and sports diving and no shortage of exhibits with thre being lots of examples in each category.

What became clear right at the beginning of the tour, was that Gosport was the birthplace of modern commercial diving:

It is not yet popularly known, but Gosport is the home of the global diving industry. The co-inventor of the diving helmet, John Deane, lived in Gosport from 1835 to 1845 during which time he discovered the Mary Rose. The first diving helmet ever sold by the inventors was to a Gosport mariner, Henry Abbinett. Gosport represents a natural home for the country's premier historical diving museum.
(from www.divingmuseum.co.uk)

Apart from my sports diving interest, I was really pleased to make a connection with one of the other exhibits. When I was a baby sailor on HMS GALATEA in 1974, I was sent off to Fort Bovisand, near Plymouth to train as a Swimmer of the Watch. We had to don a 3 piece diving suit made up of a top and bottom, the two open ends of which are rolled together before being covered with a cummerbund. And I was chuffed to see that same suit being exhibited!

So this is Gosport's 4th museum. It already has the Submarine Museum, Explosion!, and the local natural history museum  The town also has it's 17th century village, and the Institute of Naval Medicine holds many artefacts and historical papers from the history of the Royal Naval Medical Branch. 

Octonauts

A little boy called Isaac (less than five years and 3 feet) asked me yesterday on one of the tours what kind of submarine was HMS ALLIANCE. Having answered his question to my satisfaction and, thankfully his, we moved on. Later on we met again in the cafe and his gran, him and I had another quick chat. Out of that conversation came the subject of Octonauts, of which I was competely ignorant. I've done my research and am now less so, and I'd like to introduce them to you.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Octonauts!

On Youtube

And the BBC